I'm only annoyed at being thought of as annoyed

The eggshells have been tip-toed over all week. Things are fine, but there's a slight undercurrent of the unsaids at the moment.

I'll admit to not being the easiest person sometimes. After a long day in the office I get home and may not be in tip top form. I may not want to hear all about incidental mundanities. I may just crave a scotch. Living on my own was wonderful for that - through the door at 8, suit ripped off, 4 fingers of johnnie walker on ice and leave to ruminate in silence. I would come out the other side a new man.

That doesn't wash anymore, and I can be a little slow to decompress without my comforts. I'm not annoyed with Mrs. Blog-It-Out, I could just do with some quiet time. She gets it in her head though that I am annoyed with her. Some unspecified reason running around in her head. She is then annoyed at me for being (supposedly) annoyed for no reason she can discern.

So there you have it. The only thing that annoys me at the moment is bring accused of being annoyed when I'm not. It's horribly circular.

All gravy

That is all.

Sleeping easy?

Sleep is an odd thing. For an activity based solely on inactivity, the ability to annoy and anger is still present. And to an extent magnified if it affects others sleep.

I snore. Always have, probably always will. This has recently become an issue. Mrs. Blog-It-Out is quite a light sleeper, and also gets very grumpy when the full 8 hours is not forthcoming. It tipped over into anger this morning. I don't blame her - apparently I sound like a buffalo on a motocross bike.

She hasn't had a good nights sleep in a week she tells me. She doesn't blame me, its accepted that its not malicious, or anything I can control. I feel terrible to be making her life so tough but what's a man to do? I offer to sleep on the couch but she's not having it. Earplugs have been tried and found wanting. Next on the list is acupuncture and some heavy duty drillers headphones.

Somethings got to give but we have no control over this. I've got to give her a good nights sleep. The price may just be none for me. I foresee a bleary eyed and grumpy Mr. Blog-It-Out.

Whatever I did differently (possibly the tylenol pm I convinced her to take) she had a wonderful rest last night, and is now as sprightly as a spring lamb. The margins are narrow, the differences great.

Musings on a cold day

Why does love magnify anger?

Is it passion? Is it proximity forced on two used to their space and independence? Is it frustration borne out of some unspoken annoyance? What makes couples argue? Can a whisky driven monologue truly explain these mysteries?

I moved in with Mrs. Blog-It-Out recently. It's a freezing March afternoon and I'm wandering the streets. I had to get out, snow be damned. I grabbed my new eos5 and took flight. The comforts of the local bar and their Jameson have given me refuge.

Years spent living on the solo breed a comfort of ones own space. Your possessions, your rules, your life. When that comfort, previously enjoyed by both parties, has to start to compromise, then is where the strains start to show.

I started this blog a few years back with no real reason in mind. It has found its raison d'etre today, much in the way a full glass will overflow once frozen, so the cold has brought meaning today.

This shall be my private chronicle of a relationship.

Maybe one day, when we are old and settled, I'll show it to her. But for now, this is my escape and release. A virtual shoulder to cry on, a vent aimed at no one in particular.

I had a drunken conversation with a good, recently engaged friend a while back. I implored him to impart some of his understanding on me - why is it so tough for two who love each other to not fight? He had no answer. The best advice he could give was that there is no reason, best just to bite the lip and endure. Take the high road and let them have their assumed victories.  They don't understand how we think, us even less of their internal machinations or triggers. I am eternally jealous of gay couples for the simple fact that they don't have to try to figure out the insanities of the opposite sex.

Enough of this now. My glass is empty and another is to be ordered. Once fortified against the cold I will embark once more to the Richmond tundra to take more pictures, the only exercise I know that clears my mind. Soon I'll find a flower shop, purchase the requisite apology instrument, and return to the fray once more. She has just texted to see where I am. The air appears to have cleared, but the journey is far from at an end. A man's struggle will continue. And I shall be back here soon to tell all, in public, veiled in the joy of secrecy.

Photos

Some pics I've been taking around my corner of London

Back on this thing

OK, time to try and get a bit more up on this. Not quite sure what direction its gonna take but it'll settle on something when it does.

Old school detroit jit mvoes